Are you ready for some football (parties)!?
Don’t look now, but it’s tailgating season. Actually, it’s Super Bowl season. That’s like tailgating season times infinity. Last year, roughly 111 million people watched the Super Bowl. (For you numbers junkies, that’s roughly 36 percent of the U.S. population.)
And with Super Bowl 2012 promising to be just as watchable, it’s go-time for final drills, breathtaking chills, and, unfortunately, multiple spills. Since only 70,000 fans will be able to watch the big event in person, the remaining 110,930,000 will have to make do outside the gates of Lucas Oil Stadium. This is an equally hyped-up bunch in search of Super Bowl bliss, however, so be prepared because they’ll come strong and ready to party.
If you are one of the many planning on attending or even hosting one of these pigskin soirees, you’re going to need a lot of bean dip, and a great deal of readiness for a ton of potential party fouls. Which got us thinking … wouldn’t it be cool if you could purchase Super Bowl insurance to protect yourself from the insanity?
Hypothetically speaking, Super Bowl insurance could include the option to buy coverage for stuff like ineligible fans throwing stuff at your new HDTV, guacamole fumbled on your new microfiber carpet, and could even offer protection from guests hit with an extreme case of “bandwagonitis.”
What’s covered by Super Bowl insurance*
Super Bowl insurance (could**) cover damage from party-related messes, tomfoolery, and the occasional bout of absurdity.
It could also protect you against:
- Helmet-shaped-bowl mishaps
- Madonna look-a-likes (and National Anthem sing-alongs)
- TV commercial “shushers”
- Face-painting accidents
- Angry armchair referees
- Bandwagon fans
- Excessive foam finger usage
- Vegetable platters
- Plumbing mishaps
- Hangovers
- Post-game hanging out that leads to dancing
- Wardrobe malfunctions
- Loud hooting and aggressive high fives
- Opposing team “crashers”
- Football-shaped meatloaf
- Guests dressed like actual Patriots and Giants
- Overtime delirium
Of course, Super Bowl insurance doesn’t really exist, which means you’re on your own for Super Bowl XLVI. But if you’re hosting a pigskin soiree this year, keep this list of potential Super Bowl blunders handy during the big game to help protect you and your loved ones from party fouls. And good luck!
